Buchanan Family Foundation
Christian Relationship Counseling
Why do we play the blame game?
13 April 2021
Have you ever wondered why we play the blame game? We often are perplexed about witnessing this...we often observe it in our little ones. It doesn't take more than a second for our kiddos to cast blame on each other or even on us as their parents when confronted about the fall out of a poor choice. As quickly as we begin to shake our heads in disbelief, we are stunned and given pause because we too do this.
It is a trait we inherited from our first parents in The Garden. Adam and Eve, when called to be in the light, called to be honest and give an account of what happened, played the blame game. The fruit of the knowledge of good and evil led them to feel an unbearable amount of vulnerability. What do you think would have happened if they were able to own their part and walk in the light as He is in the light?
It seems that there is a fear that washes over us and convinces us, if we are truly seen for who we are, with all our limitations and failures, we will be seen and experienced as repulsive. The fear becomes so unbearable to hold, that we transfer our ownership to others. If another person is the reason why we fail to love God fully enough to obey His commandments, it becomes easier to bear than the alternative explanation.
If we experience this to be true of our relationship with God, it certainly would unfold in our relationships with others. We may never know what would or could have happened if Adam and Eve were able to own their part when their vulnerability felt unbearable.
No matter, this is what we know now:
Being in the light does not seem to indicate that we are sinless. It seems to indicate that we engage in confession and it enables us to have fellowship, which is what we experience as intimacy.
God Is Light
This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.
1 John 1:5-10
The next time you experience someone to play the blame game, or you notice you are beginning to, ask yourself:
What am I afraid of losing if I am exposed?
What am I afraid would happen to my connection to this person?
May we always remember God's response to the blame game is to make a way for us to be restored to Him.